Okay, so I saw this a while ago (bought the DVD when it was released):<\/p>\n
Visuals:\u00a0 5<\/p>\n
Audio:\u00a0 5<\/p>\n
Plot:\u00a0 2<\/p>\n
Characters:\u00a0 2<\/p>\n
Action:\u00a0 3<\/p>\n
Overall:\u00a0 3 (slightly better than a shit sandwich)<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Well, I won\u2019t hold back \u2013 this was a shit film. \u00a0Not quite as bad as Highlander 2, but bad.\u00a0 I wasted the cash I spent on the DVD.\u00a0 \u00a0I took a risk, and it didn\u2019t pay off. \u00a0This was “The Amazingly Bad Spider Man 2”.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll start with the Characters rating, which in my view is the weakest point of the film.<\/span><\/p>\n From the very beginning we are presented with a Spider Man character who \u2013 thoroughly unlike<\/em> the Peter Parker of Tobey Maguire portrayal \u2013 just doesn\u2019t seem to care all that much about collateral damage.\u00a0 He\u2019s so busy showing off how much better he is than a common thief that he spends a few minutes blowing his own horn while around him the guy plows a semi truck through several intersections, probably killing quite a few people in the process.<\/p>\n He spends the rest of the film in some teen-angst-ridden inferiority complex, constantly showing off because he knows underneath he\u2019s Spider Man.\u00a0 I think maybe this is the actor (Andrew Garfield) just demonstrating his limited range, but he had to have had permission or encouragement from the director, so let\u2019s spread the blame a little more evenly, shall we?<\/p>\n The villains \u2013 both \u201cElectro\u201d and the \u201cGreen Goblin\u201d, are echoes of personalities with all the depth of a Bud Light commercial.\u00a0 Electro is a passive-aggressive semi-genius with rage control issues who finds himself suddenly vaulted into super-hero power levels (and who nurses grudges for reasons only mildly related to reality), while Harry Osborne\u2019s Goblin is the worst form of spoiled-brat charicature with delusions of Empire that one embraces the fact that he\u2019s only a villain for the last fifteen minutes of the film.\u00a0 Sadly, during those fifteen minutes we are assured that there will be a release of SM3, involving more fucknuts-dumb villains.<\/p>\n Come to think of it, maybe that’s the whole point – maybe Marc Webb realized this turdburger of a script was sooo bad, that he just directed it and the whole time was hoping to move on to the next project…because that’s what this felt like. \u00a0He just wanted to get it over with. \u00a0So did I, by the end.<\/p>\n Gwen Stacey is trite, boring, hugely clich\u00e9\u2019, but at least she\u2019s mildly realistic.\u00a0 Until she\u2019s dead of course, but we all saw it coming as soon as she gave her big \u201clove every minute because you never know how long you have\u201d speech.<\/p>\n Okay, plot \u2013 what plot?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There\u2019s one small subtext which explains the disappearance of Peter Parker\u2019s parents and why he lives with his aunt and uncle.\u00a0 That was mildly interesting and saved this film from a rating of 1.\u00a0 The rest is just action-reaction to the presence of Electro and the teen angst that overwhelms the film.<\/p>\n Action<\/span><\/p>\n Yeah, lots of fighting.\u00a0 Enough that you get tired of it.\u00a0 Really.\u00a0 It\u2019s tiring.\u00a0 In the earlier version of the films, directors knew to make the fights interesting, but keep them short \u2013 a fight is not the reason the film exists, it\u2019s a friction point between the two or more competing characters, plus an opportunity to lighten or darken the mood as needed.\u00a0 Here the fighting seems to be the reason the film was made, because it is lengthy, accomplishes no worthy outcome (aside from one extra opportunity to play the tired \u201citsy bitsy spider\u201d joke), and introduces levels of collateral damage that would make anyone want to put a bullet into Spider Man\u2019s head.<\/p>\n Visuals<\/span><\/p>\n The shooting was okay, no glaring errors in the cinematography.\u00a0 It\u2019s New York, it\u2019s day, it\u2019s night\u2026ultimately a bit boring, really.<\/p>\n Audio<\/span><\/p>\n Competently driven sound effects and music.\u00a0 Nothing to write home to Aunt May about.\u00a0 Very little atmosphere of any kind.<\/p>\n Summary<\/span><\/p>\n Save your money, but more importantly, save your time.\u00a0 Go rent Maleficent or something else if you\u2019re in for a fantasy story.\u00a0 I imagine Stan Lee, even with his cameo in this film, was regretting its production.<\/p>\n We miss you, Toby.\u00a0 Yours was a very human Spider Man.\u00a0 This one\u2026this one was a cardboard cutout.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Okay, so I saw this a while ago (bought the DVD when it was released): Visuals:\u00a0 5 Audio:\u00a0 5 Plot:\u00a0 2 Characters:\u00a0 2 Action:\u00a0 3 Overall:\u00a0 3 (slightly better than a shit sandwich) Well, I won\u2019t hold back \u2013 … Continue reading