I struggled a bit deciding whether to write this one. This is a tough time for everyone – some of course, worse than others – and having been through this sort of thing once or twice, I thought I’d put some advice together. I hope this helps.
Being laid off sucks, there’s no two ways about that. For whatever reason it happened, having your job end is one of the top three disruptive events in a person’s life (the other two are getting married/divorced and moving to a new home).
First, and possibly most importantly, remember that this isn’t personal – this is an event which simply is. When companies absorb one another, redundancies and layoffs are a natural occurrence. This isn’t your fault, it’s simply a confluence of events that had a bad outcome. Don’t blame yourself for what happened here. You can be the best at what you do, and still when the companies don’t have a space for you after a merger, it ends in a layoff. It wasn’t because of you, it was just how things worked out.
Second – how to talk about it. And you should, with friends and family, to help work through it. If you have a spouse, remember that you’re there for each other – you have a close ally there. Spend time with a close friend or spouse to talk through your feelings. Trust me, it helps.
Talking to children about the situation will depend on their age, of course, since kids can be a bit sensitive when it comes to potential instability. A six year old will not hear “dad lost his job” the same way a sixteen-year-old would. For younger kids, it might be better to phrase it “mom’s going to change to a new and better job.”
And be aware of their feelings, too – they’re little sponges, they pick up on nonverbal queues a lot better than we usually suspect. A tummy-ache can often be a sign of anxiety. Your mileage may vary, my kid tends to stress out about little things that are unrelated to her day-to-day if I’m having some kind of issue. If you’re going to change some of your regular activities, even if it’s only temporary, try to plan some other replacement events so that you don’t self-isolate.
Third – take time for yourself. Losing a job often means having some involuntary distance put in between yourself and friends you have in the office, whom you won’t see as often. If you don’t take care of yourself during this period, it can exacerbate the feeling of separation. Are there some things you always wanted to do but never had the time? Maybe a couple weeks of free time is just what you need to do a project or two that you wanted to get done. Helping others can be remarkably therapeutic, too – whether that means volunteering at a community center, doing something with your church, or even just helping a neighbor, it can give you a chance to remind yourself that you yourself are intrinsically valuable.
Set a schedule for your days, especially those spent in job-search time. Getting up at a regular hour, spending some time checking responses and doing some job-hunting, then an hour or two of exercise, however you lay it out. Just give yourself a dose of routine, in order to avoid spending all your time staring at a screen waiting for emails to come in, etc.
Fourth – be careful of bad habits building up. Overeating, or over-use of substances such as alcohol, can sneak up on you during stressful periods. Don’t swear them off entirely, just remain attentive to your own health. This is another reason to spend time with friends and family, because having their presence can give you the endorphin boost that you might otherwise seek in the fridge ).
Fifth, and the last one for now – set aside a little time each day to remind yourself of the things you are thankful for. “I’m so lucky to have a friend like ..” or “I’m really glad of ..”, or even “What a nice sound the rain makes.” Training your mind to be grateful for good things will help you avoid depression, and keep you positive in your interactions with others.
As these things go, all advice is just that, advice – I do hope this helps some folks. If so, the only thing I would ask is that you ‘pay it forward’. Someday, you might know some other folks who are going through a troubled time. Reach back to your memories of how you got through this one, maybe some of this will help them too.